The Loominthal Effect: Why Top Students in India Struggle to Chase Their Dreams | Lumir S Vinod

Introduction to The Loominthal Effect

You are good at studies and got a top rank, or you are an average student who always passes all the exams conducted in school or college. Your dream is to become a successful cricketer, but you can't chase your dream because there is a government or private job you want to pursue.

I have a friend whose dream is to study meteorology and do a B.Sc. in Meteorology. She was a topper, an excellent student, but she couldn't pursue a B.Sc. in Meteorology. Now she's doing another degree in physics, dreaming she can do a master's in her favorite subject.
There are many such stories around you, or you may be one of the characters in those stories.

I have another friend who was very weak in studies. His parents just wanted him to earn some money to live, no big dreams. He was weak at everything, with no focus or interest in learning business either. He stopped studying after plus two, joined German classes, and failed there. But later, he became the first one in our circle to earn a high business profit. Now he travels to different states by flight.
Why does this happen? It's because he had the freedom to do anything, to try anything. Since he didn't have strong academic skills, his parents had no big dreams for him; they just wanted him to live a decent life. He teamed up with another friend who had a good business mindset, and together they solved the gaps others had. They started an institution for German studies and other German-linked businesses, which turned out to be a great success.

If you are a topper or an average student, society will judge you if you choose the commerce or humanities stream.
If you score high in commerce or humanities, they will say, "It's commerce," or "It's humanities, not science, too easy."
But that's not our current topic. Our current topic is: why do educationally successful students have a harder time chasing their dreams, or why can't most of them do it?

The answer is simple. If your parents or the people around you have higher expectations of you, you end up having more people to satisfy. It becomes harder to go after your dreams when they keep putting their own expectations and preferences on you.

How to get out of this trap?

There are three main options:

1. Defy those around you and go after your dream. Sometimes you have to take the hard road and prove through action that your dream matters more than their expectations.
2. Break their expectations or avoid creating them. Don't let your achievements become reasons for them to control your future. If needed, illustrate yourself as a failure in their eyes so they can't pressure you with their own dreams or goals. Once that pressure is gone, you can freely follow your path.
3. Communicate with them. If they are understanding, talk it out. Help them see your vision and why it matters to you. This is the best and healthiest option for anyone.

The third option is the most ideal. If it doesn't work, follow one of the other options or find an alternative approach.

This phenomenon is what I call the Loominthal Effect, which applies strongly to Indian parents: if you reduce their expectations by any method, or avoid creating them in the first place, you gain more freedom, and it becomes much easier to follow your own dreams without external pressure. So, expectation is inversely proportional to your freedom to pursue personal dreams.

In short, the Loominthal Effect is the relationship between the expectations placed on you by the people around you and your personal dreams or goals.

But if the expectation is too low and the person doesn't have high motivation, then it's nothing more than freedom. However, if the person has high motivation or self-esteem, then low expectations are the best for them. But through the Loominthal Effect, I am talking about the relationship between freedom and expectation, not the success rate.

The Psychology Behind Loominthal Effect:

1. External Locus of Control
   Top students feel their life is dictated by others' expectations: parents, teachers, or society, rather than by their own choices. This reduces initiative and makes pursuing personal dreams harder.

2. Fear of Failure
   High achievers fear disappointing others. The thought of failing outside the "approved" path triggers anxiety, which blocks risk-taking needed to chase unconventional dreams.

3. Internalization of Expectations
   Students absorb others' goals as their own. Over time, it becomes hard to separate what they truly want from what is expected, creating a mental trap.

4. Reduced Autonomy
   Constant pressure limits freedom to experiment, explore, or fail safely. Lack of autonomy stifles creativity and motivation to follow personal aspirations.

5. Social Comparison and Conformity
   Being constantly compared to peers reinforces following the "safe" path. Social approval becomes more important than personal fulfillment.

6. Cognitive Overload and Decision Paralysis
   Balancing high expectations with personal desires creates stress. This overload makes it difficult to make bold choices, often leading students to stick with conventional paths.

7. Perfectionism and Self-Criticism
   Top students often develop perfectionist tendencies. They avoid paths where they might not excel immediately, limiting opportunities to pursue their true dreams.

Conclusion
Understanding the Loominthal Effect will help you get out of the trap or recognize it quickly. I know a few people who realized it by talking to those around them, which led me to this concept. Mostly, it holds true, though there are exceptions, but remember, exceptions are not examples.