Lauren Bonvini is a Seattle-based stage fright coach who helps performers, speakers, and creatives work through performance anxiety and build confidence, presence, and self-trust.
In a world where visibility is often tied to opportunity, more people than ever are being asked to speak, present, and perform. Yet stage fright remains one of the most common—and misunderstood—barriers to showing up fully in those moments.
It’s easy to assume that confidence is something you either have or don’t. But stage fright tells a different story. It reveals that confidence is not a fixed trait—it’s a trained response.
The Pressure to Perform Has Changed
Today’s “stage” isn’t limited to theaters or auditoriums. It includes Zoom calls, team meetings, social media, and public-facing roles of all kinds. The audience may look different, but the internal experience is often the same: heightened awareness, self-consciousness, and pressure to get it right.
As expectations increase, so does the intensity of performance anxiety.
But rather than viewing this as a personal limitation, it can be seen as a signal. Your system is responding to perceived importance. You care about how you show up—and that matters.
Understanding the Role of the Nervous System
Stage fright isn’t just in your head—it’s in your body.
When you’re about to perform, your nervous system activates to prepare you for action. This can feel uncomfortable, especially if you’re not used to it. But it’s not inherently negative. It’s energy.
The key is learning how to regulate that energy so it works with you instead of against you.
Simple practices like controlled breathing, slowing your pace, and grounding your posture can reduce the intensity of the response. These aren’t quick fixes—they’re trainable skills that improve with repetition.
The Trap of Overthinking
One of the biggest challenges in high-pressure moments is overthinking. You start analyzing every detail—your words, your tone, your body language—while trying to perform at the same time.
This creates a split in attention that makes everything feel harder.
A more effective approach is to simplify your focus. Instead of trying to control every variable, anchor yourself in one thing: your message. What do you want to communicate? What value are you offering?
Clarity reduces noise.
Confidence Through Exposure
Avoidance strengthens fear. Exposure weakens it.
The more you put yourself in situations where you’re seen and heard, the more your system adapts. What once felt overwhelming becomes familiar. And familiarity builds confidence.
This doesn’t mean throwing yourself into the most intimidating scenario right away. It means building gradually—starting small, then expanding your comfort zone over time.
Each step reinforces your ability to handle the next.
Moving Beyond Perfectionism
Perfectionism often disguises itself as high standards, but in performance, it can become a barrier. The desire to avoid mistakes can make you rigid, disconnected, and overly cautious.
In contrast, presence requires flexibility.
When you allow for imperfection, you create space for authenticity. You become more responsive, more engaging, and more human. And that’s what audiences connect with.
Creating Consistency in Unpredictable Moments
High-pressure situations are unpredictable by nature. But your preparation doesn’t have to be.
Developing a consistent pre-performance routine can create a sense of stability. Whether it’s a breathing exercise, a mental cue, or a physical warm-up, these rituals help center you.
They act as a bridge between preparation and performance.
A More Useful Definition of Confidence
Confidence isn’t about eliminating discomfort. It’s about expanding your capacity to handle it.
When you stop waiting to feel ready and start building the skills to navigate uncertainty, your relationship with stage fright changes. It becomes something you can manage—not something that controls you.
And that shift opens the door to more opportunities, more visibility, and more impact.
Lauren Bonvini is a Seattle-based stage fright coach who helps performers, speakers, and creatives work through performance anxiety and build confidence, presence, and self-trust. Read more about Lauren Bonvini
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