Feeling vs Relatives

Lately, I’ve been in a huge dilemma about whether I should follow my own feelings or consider my relatives’ expectations. One of my cousin sisters and I had a major fight last year. During that argument, she disrespected my mother, me, and even said extremely hurtful things about our family.

Now, her wedding is coming up, and I’m unsure whether I should attend. Her mother, my aunt, personally invited us and insisted that we should come. Even my cousin brother told me that I must attend and that we’ll dance together and enjoy the function. However, deep inside, I don’t feel happy or comfortable about going.

I keep thinking that if I go, she might again say something hurtful like she did before. During our past fight, she had said very insulting things — such as “your father isn’t here, and my brother is the one who helps and feeds you.” She even mocked me for small things like asking her brother for ice cream or help, which really hurt me deeply.

Because of that, I feel that attending her wedding doesn’t make sense. If I go and she behaves rudely again, I don’t think I’ll be able to tolerate it. My mother believes we should go and simply behave neutrally — as if nothing ever happened, or as if they are strangers. But my point is, if we are to treat them like strangers, then why go at all? There are many other weddings we don’t attend because we aren’t invited personally.

I also feel that if she truly wanted me to be part of her special day, she could have at least come and apologized or personally requested me to attend. Since she hasn’t done that, I don’t feel it’s right to go just because her parents invited us. After everything she said, I don’t think I can genuinely be happy at her wedding. I’m really confused and unable to decide what to do.